49: Meditations on the resurrection, Part 5: Peter and John

In theory, it sounds quite easy to say that you will take a 40-day pilgrimage and meditate on a few things. You think you're going to be bored stiff if all you do is walk, and you'll need things to think about. I had said that I would use the time to learn to pray, and to meditate on the book of James. I also wanted to really let the resurrection accounts of the gospels sink in.

I was still having trouble focusing on these meditations, but I assumed it was because I had only been walking for a week at this point. I was trying to think about Peter and John's encounter with the empty tomb, but it wasn't easy to come up with any insightful thoughts on it.

We know Peter as the ever-impulsive one, and on hearing the women tell the story of an empty tomb, he immediately runs off to see for himself. John went too, but what surprises me is that there weren't more who went. Was it fear? "We're the gang who followed that man who was executed as a criminal. Maybe we don't want to be seen loitering around his grave, especially if the grave is indeed empty. The Roman authorities have some persuasive ways of discouraging that kind of activity."

But it does seem strange that you can give yourself the luxury of disbelieving a story about an empty tomb, when all you have to do is go have a look for yourself. The disciples simply didn't believe the women, even though evidence was there for the having.

Peter and John don't give themselves that luxury. They go look for themselves. Even though John beats Peter to the tomb, he seems a little nervous about going in there by himself. But once Peter goes, John follows, sees the grave clothes and the absence of a body and believes, "for", as he tells us, "he had not yet understood the scriptures that he had to rise from the dead."

Strange conjunction, that word "for." It seems to imply that, had he understood the scriptures, it would not have taken a look at an abandoned shroud to believe.

Strange experience all around. What do you do now? What's next? Any suggestions?

It seems to be the ultimate head-scratching moment.